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I never thought I’d be grieving a parent
It’s been 18 months since my hard arse, strict and ever loving and supportive father was taken before his time and in that time I’ve had numerous people ask me how I am, how I’m coping and I’ve gone with the honest, sometimes hiding the real truth of an answer: I’m doing the best that I can. And it’s true. I am. There’s no manual about how to deal with the loss of a parent, there’s no concrete handbook on grief that is personalised for you to work through. There’s only life and it continues like nothing has changed. It’s really okay that there’s a hole in my life and…
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In Memory of My Dad, Georgie Porgie
It’s been a year today since I got that phone call that left me sobbing on my cold tiled apartment floor that a man that I loved and adored was gone. I always thought that my dad was always going to be around, he was always there when I needed him, even when my pride was telling me that I couldn’t ask for help, he was patiently waiting for me to find a way to get past it. But I was his daughter (and I still am), I’m stubborn to my core and I want to do things my way, no matter how I get them. I will work on…
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The Year That Was
I know I said in my newsletter that there would be no more new posts until next year but I’m feeling a little inspired (it could also be something to do with how exhausted I feel), so I thought I would share a little bit about my year. It’s been a whirlwind, those close to me know it. I’ve had some incredible highs, I’ve met some beautiful people who are slowly becoming a part of my life, but most of all I’ve had to learn how to be a woman without a father. I think that’s been the hardest. Grief is not neat, the stages of grief do not happen…
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What My Reading Binge Taught Me
I learned something powerful in the midst of my dinner today, I’ve been on an emotional bender for the last few days, having severely brake downs and actually felt the true loss of my father. Bare with me here, I know I’ve covered this already a bit, but this feels different. For two months I smiled and almost slept through what happened. It was denial, pure and simply put, I mean I knew it had happened but I was refusing to believe it. Part of me still wants to believe it and I think that writing will bring him back, but if I could I would write a hundred million…
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Time Has No Meaning When Dealing With Grief
Grieving is a funny process. It’s overwhelming and it’s probably harder than anything I’ve ever had to come across. Since Saturday I haven’t been able to keep a clear track of what’s been happening. Days are mixed up. I feel like it’s still Saturday and I’m going through the motions. I’m laughing to keep myself sane, keeping busy to stop the thoughts but most of all I’m trying to stop the tears. I’m keeping them at bay. I wrote this in the midst of things. It was going to be this post but I got distracted by everything and I didn’t get a chance to finish it. Starting today’s…
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Museless
Now the title is something I find very funny for two reason. One I hate the way people talk about having a muse to write, you either write or you don’t there’s no waiting for it to happen (I’m an optimist at the best of times but writing is work, you have to show up for work!) and two the muse does not exist. Did you read that? It does NOT exist. It really doesn’t. Writing is something you sit down and do regardless of if the muse is there or not. Sure I’ve used the excuse a lot, I’m even almost using it now, but I’m proving to myself…
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Sharing Sunday – Grief
The next dreamer on the list is Jerrie. We share a mutual acquaintance in the form of retail jobs and had a swell time sitting next to each other in class (oops sorry to the lecturer who shall not be named but we were sort of mean). This next story is gorgeous. I remember reading it and workshopping it in class. I hope you love it just as much. Grief I woke up that morning knowing exactly what I was going to do. In my imagination I could still see you there, feel the warmth of your body and the touch of your coarse skin, the stale feeling of…