Destressing The Creative

I’m probably renowned by a lot of friends for being a bit of a stress head and someone who overthinks a lot, which is not untrue, but there are two words I actually hate hearing: Don’t Stress, because no matter how many times I hear these words, it never actually helps. In fact, if you have known me for longer than six months, you’ll know that those very two words will make me hang up on you, slam a door in your face and not talk to you until you understand that stressing is a part of my process.

I will bitch and moan about how stressed I am and most of the time I can outwardly hide my stress but some, who know me pretty well, can see the stress written on my face, particularly my eyes, they’re the ones to give me away and no matter what I do, I’ve never managed to find a way to blank the emotion from my eyes – a work in progress really.

My stress stems from not being able to control an aspect of my creativity, whether that’s an assignment, structure, overworking, or a block of some kind. I have actively tried to work on it too. But it doesn’t seem to stop the stress attacks that come on when I take a moment to bring myself into what I should be doing when I shouldn’t be. For example, I was at my retail job when I realised I had a week to go until my literature review was due, I hadn’t read the articles and had no idea where to start, which is always the scariest place to be.

But that was my internal world trying to find a medium where I could still work, write, be social and actually get the readings done. It resulted in ridiculous amounts of cuddles, stress tweets and trying to get my mind off the actual task at hand…and chocolate.

A lot of bad chocolate. (Disclaimer here, when I say bad chocolate I mean the kind that I don’t eat at all anymore aka milk chocolate).

I think that a lot of creatives deal with stress in different ways, some like to hunker down and draw/sing/write/dance etc to get all of their frustrations out but many don’t and I know that when it comes to stress I am pretty crazy. My sleeping habits dwindle down and I know that there are things I could be doing to support myself but I can’t seem to get onto that train to help myself. I get messier; cleaning is the last thing on my mind and I jump at the idea of take away, because it’s easier than actually cooking. And I will run away from everything that comes with sitting down and writing.

Stress is linked to overthinking, or at least it is in my case (don’t quote this as law, these are just my own thoughts on it) and that tends to make me spiral. I think this would be more manageable if I could properly schedule but the thought of a strict routine sends me into an anxiety attack, I like wiggle room and sometimes I think that I get anxiety attacks from the fact that I’m not prepared enough when a deadline comes along.

Here’s what I do when I stress:

Procrastinate: Ask me to go out to the movies, or out to dinner, or a party, or to come over, chances are I’ll say yes if I’m running from the actual matter at hand. Better yet, let’s do all of them in one go, I’m down.

Clean: Yeah, this counteracts my above statement, but I’ll clean when I’m supposed to be sitting down to do work or I’ll decide that I must absolutely and critically refold every item of clothing in my wardrobe, hey I simply have to use my skills I earned working in my clothing retail jobs.

Complain about being stressed: Ha! Anyone who has been around me will most definitely know that this ramps up the closer I get to the deadline, mostly because I’m trying to figure out how to not stress and by not doing so I stress more.

Shut myself inside: Yeah this also counteracts the first point really well but I’m actually a bundle of contradictions and I’m allowed to be, I’m not going to apologise. So, while I’ll say yes to going out and seeing and doing things I’ll also find ways to discreetly stay home, whether that’s not replying to messages (which is never intentional, let me just put that out there) or just putting on some music and sitting in my room with nothing to do. It’s something that I need to do alone. Even if you want to come and help me not stress, although I wouldn’t say no to food turning up at my door. That would be the best.

Break out: My skin is always a good indication about how stressed I am. As a teen I struggled with stress related acne starting with some huge changes when my brother was unfortunately shipped off to Melbourne to get his last huge heart surgery, so it’s something that has triggered my stress break outs, it used to be just around my arms (winter is better at hiding this) but my face has been the product of this happening and my first reaction is to just pick and pick at it until it’s a bloody sore.

Here’s how I (try to) support myself:

Move my body: Yeah, this tends to be the last thing I want to do and it’s probably when I need it the most. I take myself out of my space (see contradictions yet again) and I get my body moving. I go to the gym, where I’m lucky to have a plan already set for me so I can actually get my head into the game. I also have purposely, and always will, have a separate iPod (read old iPhone) as a music source in the gym. I need to be completely present and in my body to work out or I won’t enjoy it and I’ll stop half way through but I’m such an internaliser that I need to block out everyone else in the gym to get things done, so it also means that I don’t worry about people staring (another problem) or getting a text message because I have no access to a sim card.

Order takeaway: My cooking skills are pretty good, if I don’t say so myself, but sometimes I can’t be fucked and my good habits slip, so menulog, ubereats, deliveroo and door dash have become my best friends and dependant on where I’m working in my retail jobs, noodles become a staple and there’s always enough food for lunch, because that’s how I do leftovers. It’s times like this I miss living with my mum, she’d make food and all I had to do was show up at the table (move my things around) and eat, then return to my cave and finish working. Maybe I need to get her around during deadline times…

Be a kid: It’s not a surprise that I’m 35 and I still love going to the park…don’t judge me ok! I used to have an amazing park that is a 10 minute walk from my apartment, maybe less, and it has a hammock and a swing, so mostly I start by lying on the hammock (I also try to go to parks where there are no kids so no one thinks I’m too weird…) and then move onto the swing. The swings are magical and I’ve said it before but they really are, they actually make everything better and when I can meet others at the park who think the same it makes me so happy.

Walking: Sometimes the art of walking (again moving my body) makes life so much easier when it comes to stress because I can put on some music and just let my feet do the talking, sometimes I come across parks and sometimes I come across kittens that rub up against me and I take the time to be present, pat the kittens (or cats) and go for swing, mostly, though, I take the time to actually just let myself be who I am. I smile at strangers and walk around the neighbourhood without disregarding about where I’m going to next.

Try to limit how much I go out: Yeah maybe this one is also a contradiction because I want to get out and not deal with what’s going on but at the same time I don’t want to go anywhere and shut myself inside to get things done and normally end up procrastinating a lot.

Here’s what I need:

Patience: Sometimes all I need is a little patience from the people around me, don’t tell me I look stressed because I’m trying my best to hide this fact from you and the world around me. Let me be oblivious and live like that for a while, yeah?

Cuddles: Seriously a few hugs make the world a whole lot more shinier for me. My ability to have that contact gets me out of my head and back into my body, it also allows me the chance to really clear my mind, because it’s always so noisy in there.

Support: Remind me that sometimes it’s good to eat proper meals and not rely on crappy take away. And that sometimes getting out of the house is actually good for my health. Better yet swing by and come and get me, take me to the beach, or out for lunch, or even just to the park. When I’m deep in my stress attacky moments I need the reminders.

Trips to the beach: There is nothing more relaxing and soothing than the sound of the waves hitting the surf. I don’t know what it is about the waves but there is no place I’d rather be. When shit is getting too hard to deal with I go there, no matter that it could take me an hour to get to the beach or what, it just helps make everything better. In times when it’s warm I’ll happily go for a dip, even if I’m in the water for less than a minute it makes the biggest different to me. The salt on my skin and in my hair, it reminds me that I’m human again.

Essential Oils: These have been such a huge life changer since I started using them. I’m a big fan of DoTERRA oils and Balance is the one that saves my lifetime and time again. And the blend Elevation perks me up when I need it. Lavender Peace is my sleep go-to as well when I’m stressing so much I can’t sleep. I also love their blend Adaptiv that has changed so much of my mental state. It’s a good oil to really calm my nervous system down. If you’re interested in getting your hands on these let me know. I’d be happy to help get them into your hands.

How to deal with stress on your own terms

Stress is just a by product of not being able to control everything that’s happening, I know it and you probably know that deep down too, but you keep reacting to it because you don’t know how to do anything else. It’s time to demystify that. Look at your systems you have in place, how can you better them? What can you do?

As I’ve already explained how I deal with stress and what I need it’s time to take it into your own hands and work out how you deal with stress. This is part of the power of understanding exactly what you need as a creative and how you deal with stress on your own.

Because let’s be real, I can write a 2000 word post on what I do to de-stress and how I deal with it, but at the end of the day, I’m not you and while people like to lump us creative all in the same category, we’re all extremely different and no same method will help. It’s why I only have one coaching package that is completely generic, the rest is done case-by-case basis where I tailor my coaching to what you need and I have no regret about that. Is it more work for me? Yes. Do I care? No. I want to help writer’s and creatives no matter what their issues are.

Because of this, I’ve taken the time to make a stress playbook. It’s available via my brand new shop over just over here in my brand new shop. It’s at an affordable price and I can’t wait to find out what you think about it.