This week was all about finding a sense of compassion, which is probably the biggest and hardest week for me. Mostly because I am way too hard on myself and it bleeds into just about everything else I do. The topics that were covered this week were: fear, enthusiasm, creative u-turns, blasting through blocks. It’s probably a week of really digging in and trying to learn to be compassionate. I caught myself and found that I was most definitely harder on myself, more than I need to be.
Morning Pages: I wasn’t actually consistent this time, because one of the tasks was to read morning pages. Hello freak out? It was confronting because my pages are mostly rants about life and about things I feel like aren’t going right in my life, at the same time they’re about things that perplex me and challenge me.
Artist’s Date: I’m going to classify my trip to the farmer’s market as my artist’s date. I actually really enjoyed that and bought a small amount of veggies and produce and spoke to people. It was actually pretty damn lovely and not as scary as I thought it would be.
Challenges: Reading my morning pages was the biggest challenge I had, so much so that I actually didn’t write my morning pages because of it.
Synchronicities: I’m not sure about the different synchronicities, because mostly I spent most of the week warring with myself and warring with everything that’s happening in my life. It’s like the more that I do this and the more that I explore this the harder it is to go back to my old ways. I’m out growing a lot of what I’ve been through and I almost feel like I’m outgrowing some of my life, but its growing pains and it’s slipping outside my comfort zone that actually is scary.
Maybe next week will make it okay. It’s hard to know, until I’m in it.