I keep making excuses for myself when I saw the bad thing at the wrong time. Ever had that happen to you?
I blame the fact that my oral savviness lacks because of I am better with written word. Anyone else with that? I have always been terrified of oral speaking. I’m not sure where it stemmed from but I remember as a kid, and being SRC Chairperson, I had to address all of 300 people in my primary school and I was always afraid of saying something wrong. Don’t ask me why, it just was a thing. I even had issues with trying to do things like dancing and talent quests. I could put my mind to the task but I wasn’t very excited about it.
In high school I shied away from from anything that would get me noticed. I much preferred to sit back and let others do the scary work. Oral presentation were a nightmare and reading aloud was horrendous, I knew nothing of commas and natural pauses, I just read fast and hoped for the best. In Uni (the first one) it was the same, half of the time I didn’t understand the material but it was just terrifying giving me own two cents when someone else had said it much better than me. In my last degree, it was much the same, but this time I tried to conquer it. And I feel that I have, I haven’t conquered the nerves behind it, but I did conquer the fear of saying something wrong. I’m still rubbish with oral presentations, I still fret that I’m going to make a fool of myself and not make any sense to anyone else, but I did have an amazing lecturer who was kind when it came to oral presentations. He made sure I didn’t go last and had me at the top of the list, so that I could get it out of the way and he sung praises when I covered everything needed and more. I even managed to answer his questions with more information.
I also learned to own my stories. No one else could take them away from me, no matter what.
But even with that. I’m still plagued with not making sense sometimes, and my brain and mouth filter malfunctioning. I’m not sure what the deal is there, but someone needs to explain to me. Anyone out there have an answer? Please say so.