Graduating from Veronica Mars

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My life no long has any meaning. I’ve watched the Veronica Mars movie and I still want MORE. How does that happen? Rob Thomas give me more. Make another kickstarter campaign, WB make another movie. I want to see more.

I can’t believe that all those years ago, when VM started, I was only 16 and I was in my second to last year at high school. I fell in love with the show and while the hype was big, Channel 10 didn’t think it was worth it and took it off the air, nothing new there. I spent a long time trying to chase down all of the DVD’s because they weren’t selling them anywhere near me and religiously, year after year, since I got my hands on all three seasons, I’ve watched it. I can recite a lot of the show by heart and I love watching the clues add up again and again, that’s the part of me that loved Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys novels. I was watching the movie, because I made a promise that if i got through all of the episodes again, I’d watch the movie as a reward.

I was expecting to be disappointed. I was expecting to be upset, hell even cry, but I was left with a yearning.

I want more.

Veronica Mars is probably one of the few shows that was perfect. I mean every episode. I hated the way the series ended. I was mad that the show was axed before it was ready.

The movie really does a brilliant job of making it all come together. The biggest difference for me though was just watching how everyone had grown as actors in the roles. Next year is my ten year high school reunion. I’m dreading it. I’m hoping that I can even miss it. Facebook has made it easy to figure out what everyone has been doing. A lot of people are married, some with kids, many with kids on the way (two of my friends have babies on the way, both boys!) a lot have done their own things. There are people I dread seeing because of what happened and there are many, whom I’m sure, would have forgotten my name. I’m okay with that too.

High school was a nightmare for me. I didn’t do as well as I would have liked, I was bullied, I just existed. I was talking to my bestie, when she came down over the weekend, about how cruel kids really are. It brought up something that terrifies me. When I have kids, I really don’t know if I can handle putting them through high school. I would much rather have them home schooled in hopes it would keep them away from the bullying and the hurt I experienced, but if I was to do this, then it would mean that they could miss out on meeting their soul sister/brother/soulmate. I’m not sure if that would be the best thing to do. Things may, or may not change when I have kids and get to that point, but that’s a long way off.

What I really want is for the next year to be amazing. I want to (if I strike up the courage to go) be able to say that I made it. That I’m doing the thing I love the most in the world. I want to make sure that my book gets there. Draft two is going to be finished soon. End of May is my long deadline; end of April is my goal. I’m going to be on track for my launch goal at the end of the year. It’s going to happen. Then I can tell all of the people I had once called friends, that life really is fantastic when they tell me all about their love lives and things that I don’t have yet.

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