I vowed to stop doing writing and reading when I eat, it’s not very beneficial to being present in a meal, but sometimes I get the most vivid of ideas when I’m sitting at the table eating and just thinking. So I had to get this down!
I’ve learned a lot more lately. My short trip back home over the weekend was different. I ran away when I should have spoken up because I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of a loved one and it was easier to than snapping but I also learned something else, something that I probably should have confirmed.
I’m allowed to do things for myself. I’m allowed to do the things I love without consequence. Everyone keeps asking me if I’m going to move back home now that my Dad’s passed away. Did people think I was running away from home when I came to Melbourne? They must have, because the amount of looks I got when I said no was staggering. I came to Melbourne to follow my dreams. I want to make a living off my writing. I will make a living off it and no one is going to stop me. Mum always said that she had regrets because her father never let her do what she wanted, she taught me that I should never have regrets for doing the things I love.
Everyone assumes because I’m living in Melbourne, I’m a huge party girl or that I disregard that stern but loving hand that helped raise me. Initially the thrill of not having anyone to tell me what time to get home was exciting, but getting home at 4am and then sleeping through most of the day, was not my idea of fun. Tried and tested it once, no thank you.
I thrive from getting the most of out life. I learned that I didn’t need to always be glued to the computer and that the best moments in life are those that aren’t photographed. As much as I hate that my Dad is gone I know that it was something that I had to go through. I had to find out those that really cared for me and those that didn’t. It’s made me stronger, it’s given me a zest for life that I didn’t have and most of all it’s given me the courage to do things that I would never have done before. Hello hosted site and hello scary next thing I’m doing (for privacy reasons this will not ever be name). I also took away one really great thing from it all. I got told that I have nothing holding my back and that if there’s something I wanted to do, I should do it. I knew this, but hearing it out of someone else’s mouth was refreshing, it put a new spin on things for me.
So I leave you with this: be kind to yourself, cut yourself some slack and be present in the moment. Take in the conversations, the laughter, put down your phone and enjoy the company of those around you. They deserve to have all of you, not half of you.