Writerly Insides,  Writing

Facing Fear

Facing FearI’ve been having some doubts and it’s not about my writing. That I have down packed. It’s about sharing it. I can happily write blog posts and talk to people, I can share my short stories and snippets but for the life of me, it terrifies me to share my novel with people. I’ve been working on it for so long, but I know that I need to get some other people reading it, part of me is terrified that they won’t get it and I’ll have to be back at the drawing board for it all, but there’s another piece of me that just doesn’t want to acknowledge that this part of the process has to happen.

I know, logically, that if the story is unreadable to someone else then I’m going to sell nothing, which is not ideal, but is a possibility, so I know how important having someone else look at it is. I think if I can keep that in mind I can get through the entire stage. So far I’ve had some pretty positive feedback which has helped me flesh out details and fix bits and pieces, but I’ve also had someone get not that very far in and give up. I was surprise at how much I didn’t feel when the told me. I expected to be a bit hurt or something, but nothing, nada, zip, zero. I think this is a really good thing, it means I’ve distanced myself enough that other feedback that may be just as honest won’t hurt as much

Fear is important though. I lot of people have a fear of fear, let me just say this: What is wrong with you? Fear is a good thing. It means that we’re pushing the boundaries and if we don’t do something with the fear then we will never get anywhere in life. Stop playing it safe, reach out to people, go to a cafe when your anxiety is running a million miles at once, do something crazy. Your life will thank you.

I had this feeling too, earlier this month, and while nothing came out of it, it allowed me to work on my coaching packages (which are basically done, by the way!) and my site.

Have you noticed how things look around her? Pretty snazzy, hey? I have a banner and some pretty cool social media icons (I can’t remember where I found them, but I’ll have to look!) I’ve also jazzed up my About Me Page, I love it! The old one just wasn’t serving me right and I got to use some of the beautiful pictures that Edwin Niczynski took. They are amazing. I had fun after the initial nervousness and I loved the beach, evenif it was freezing! If anyone in Adelaide is looking for a beautiful photographer, seriously, hit him up. He is the best.

There’s still more to come, but I’m facing my fears and making the most out of what I have. I can do this and now I have nothing left to lose. I’m getting rid of the unhappiness that’s in my life, I’m working on myself and putting my health first. I don’t know if I have cancer shadowing the female side of my family but I know I do in the male. There’s also a possibility that I may have some sort of heart problem or something. I’m making the most of out of my life and I’m going to do it in the best possibly way I know.

Unhappiness and stress are two things I don’t need in my life and if that means that facing fear and staring her right in the eye, then I’m going to do it.

Tell me what has your nervous system shaking and what have you done about it. I want to hear about it all.

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Mandi is a writer, reader, dreamer and is breaking procrastinating inner editors, one at a time.

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